All About First Looks
What is a First Look — and Should You Do One?
(Spoiler: We’re Pretty Big Fans)
If you’ve spent any time researching wedding photography, you’ve probably come across the term “first look” and wondered what exactly the fuss is all about. Maybe you’ve seen those gorgeous photos of a groom turning around to see his partner for the first time, tears welling, hands shaking, and thought okay, that looks pretty amazing. Or maybe you’re firmly in the camp of “I want to see my person for the first time when I’m walking down the aisle, end of story.”
Both are completely valid. Truly. But if you’re on the fence — or if you haven’t really thought it through yet — we think this is one of those decisions that’s worth taking a little time with. Because it has a bigger impact on your day than you might realize.
So let’s break it down.
Okay, So What Actually Is a First Look?
A first look is a planned, private moment between the two of you, typically before the ceremony, where you see each other for the first time on your wedding day. We usually pick a spot with great light and a little privacy. It’s designed to give you a genuine, unscripted moment that isn’t happening in front of 150 people. You can take as much time as you want to feel your feelings, without needing to focus on What’s Supposed To Happen Next.
The classic setup goes something like this: one partner stands with their back turned while the other approaches and taps them on the shoulder. The turn happens. The reaction happens. And everything else kind of falls away for a minute.
It sounds simple. But in practice, it’s one of the most emotionally powerful moments of the entire day.
The Case for Doing a First Look
We’ll be upfront with you: we love first looks. Not because they make for great photos (though they absolutely do), but because of what they genuinely do for couples on one of the most emotionally charged days of their lives. Here’s why we’re such big fans.
It Gives You a Private Moment in a Very Public Day
Think about your wedding day for a second. From the moment you wake up, you are surrounded by people. Family, friends, vendors, hair and makeup, the whole crew – it’s a beautiful, joyful chaos. And then you walk down the aisle and see your person for the first time in front of everyone.
Which is incredible! But also… a lot.
A first look carves out a quiet pocket in the middle of all of that. Just the two of you with no audience, no pressure, no timeline bearing down on you. You get to actually be with each other for a few minutes. Hold hands. Take a breath. Sometimes, couples also choose to exchange private vows at a first look instead of during the ceremony. In a first look, you can say the things you want to say without anyone watching.
Couples tell us over and over again that this moment was one of their favorites of the entire day. Not because of how it looked, but because of how it felt.
It Seriously Calms the Nerves
Wedding day nerves are real. Like, really real. And as much as you’re excited and overjoyed, for many there’s an undeniable current of anxiety running through most of the morning. This can feel more intense especially as the ceremony gets closer.
Here’s what we’ve seen happen time and time again: a couple does their first look, and something visibly shifts. The shoulders drop. The breathing slows. The smiles get easier and more relaxed. Because suddenly, you’ve already seen your person. You’re there with them together, not alone, and together you can do anything.
By the time you’re walking down the aisle, you’re not bracing yourself for an overwhelming wave of emotion in front of a crowd. You’re walking toward someone you’ve already connected with. Someone who has already looked at you like you are their entire world today. And that feeling? It carries you through the whole ceremony.
It Opens Up Your Timeline in a Big Way
Okay, let’s get a little practical for a second: this benefit is huge and doesn’t always get the attention it deserves.
Traditionally, couples wait until after the ceremony to do all of their portraits. Couple portraits, wedding party photos, family formals, all of it. Which means your cocktail hour is largely spent doing photos instead of, you know, actually enjoying your cocktail hour. And depending on how many people are in your family and wedding party, that portrait block can eat up a lot of time.
When you do a first look, you can take care of so many of those portraits before the ceremony even starts. That means:
- You actually get to attend your own cocktail hour. Mingle with your guests, have a drink, soak it all in — instead of rushing through family photos while everyone else is having fun without you.
- Your wedding party isn’t stuck waiting around forever. They can get their photos done early and then actually enjoy the party.
- You’re not racing against the light. If sunset portraits are important to you, you have so much more flexibility when the post-ceremony timeline isn’t jam-packed.
- The whole day just flows better. Seriously — a first look can be the difference between a relaxed, enjoyable timeline and one that feels like a sprint from start to finish.
The Photos Are Incredible
We promised we weren’t just going to talk about this from a photography standpoint — and we meant it. But we’d be doing you a disservice if we didn’t mention it, because it’s genuinely true.
First look photos capture something that’s impossible to recreate: a completely authentic, unguarded reaction. Nobody is performing. Nobody is thinking about their posture or whether they’re crying too much or what their face is doing. They are just feeling, and feeling hard.
Those are the photos you’ll come back to again and again. The ones that take you straight back to exactly what that moment felt like. And because a first look happens in a private, intentional setting, with enough time and no distractions, we are able to capture and lock in those memories in a way the brings you right back to that moment every time.
But Wait — What About That Aisle Moment?
This is the big one. The reason a lot of couples hesitate when it comes to first looks. And honestly? It’s a completely legitimate concern.
There is something undeniably special about seeing your partner for the first time as you’re walking down the aisle. The music, the guests, the whole cinematic weight of that moment. And some couples feel strongly that they don’t want anything to take the edge off of that experience. That the nerves and the anticipation are part of what makes it so powerful.
We hear that. We really do.
Here’s what we’ve found though — and this is coming from watching a lot of couples at the end of that aisle: a first look doesn’t diminish the ceremony moment.
You’re seeing each other here in this one-of-a-kind moment, with the music and the flowers and all your favorite people watching. A lot of couples tell us the aisle moment actually felt more meaningful after a first look — not less. Because they were present for it. Instead of seeing each other for the first time and trying to hold it together in front of everyone, you can be calm enough to really take it in.
So Should You Do One?
Here’s our honest answer: it depends on you.
If the idea of seeing each other privately before the ceremony genuinely excites you, if it sounds like your kind of moment, then yes, absolutely, do a first look. You will not regret it.
If the thought of it genuinely doesn’t feel right, if holding that moment for the aisle is something that matters deeply to both of you, then honor that. There’s no wrong answer here. Plenty of couples skip the first look and have absolutely stunning, perfectly timed wedding days.
What we’d encourage you to do is talk about it together. Not based on what you’ve seen on Instagram or what your mom thinks, but based on what actually feels right for the two of you and the kind of day you want to have.
And if you want to talk it through with someone who’s seen both play out about a thousand times? Well, that’s kind of our thing. 😊
Every Decision Comes Back to Your Day
Whether you do a first look or not, what matters most is that your day feels like yours. That the timeline works for you. That you’re present and joyful and not stressed about logistics. That’s what we’re always working toward: making sure everything is set up so you can actually live your wedding day instead of just passing through it.
And we love helping couples think through all of it! The big decisions and the small ones so that when the day comes, everything just flows.
Because the best wedding day is the one that feels completely, perfectly, unmistakably like you. 💛
Curious about first looks or want to talk through your wedding day timeline? We’d love to chat — reach out and let’s connect!
Whew, that was long. TLDR; Why do a first look??
- it’s a private special moment together
- time together to feel your feelings
- get portraits done early
- more flexibility to enjoy your day and be with guests
- awesome genuine reaction photos
- doesn’t take away from that special aisle moment
